A serious post about couples.

This is not a post about dating either southern or northern men. It's a serious post about being coupled. There are days I think I will never be compatibly coupled with anyone. For one thing, I'm a very independent girl and for some men this is a milestone that just can NOT be overcome. And... I'm a leader. Even when I don't want to be I find myself forced into a position of leadership, sometimes just by default. This can also be hard on the other half of a couple. Not everyone wants to be around that 24/7.

But... that being said I must also say I'm just tired. I'm tired of struggling. Of the daily struggle just to survive in one form or another. It sure would be nice to have a shoulder to lean my weary head on at the end of the day that just understood and could just put their arm around my shoulder. Or someone I could just hold hands with and be quiet while the world rushes by.

Some days I despair of ever finding this.

To those who have it I am just being morose, they have that hand to hold when times get tough, that shoulder to lean on. They have this rare coupling and can not understand how someone could think it will never happen for them.

Well, I thought it would happen twice. I was wrong. I admit, I'm the worlds worst at picking men. Instead of picing interdependent relationships I tend to pick those that are dependent on me, or are dominering of me. Neither works too well.

Add this aweesome fact to my age, my older body, my personality and intellect it seems like finding this compatible coupling will be as rare as getting struck by lightning. Yeah it could happen... but statistically???

I have a friend who tells me I'm just thinking negatively. That I bounce back and forth. May be. But... she sits in her nice home tonight with her husband who tells her daily he loves her. Who puts his arm around her and tells her she's beautiful. Who thinks she's the best. Yeah they have their problems... but it always comes round to this. Where does one find these men? Especially at my age??? Most of them I've found want a young trophy wife, or a nurse with a purse. There you go. Neither of those are me anymore.

I'm a confident professional woman who is overweight but trying. Who sincerely loves and would like to be loved in return. Someone who I could lean my head on when the going gets tough. Someone to bring me coffee in the morning. Someone to spoil me like I'd spoil them. Are you out there?